Take a look at the guy standing on the far right of the picture below. That picture was taken 3 years ago when he was a freshman at UCR. He was careless. He was infinitely happy. Maybe even in love. He was also pretty fucked up during that time. Now he just cares too much. That guy happens to be me. Oops!
I think I’m a masochist…err..well, maybe I’m just used to pain. Or maybe I’m just being over dramatic about some rough patch in my life….wait. stop. Is this my first blog post? Has it really been three years? Am I dreaming? She’s gone? I hope it’s a dream. It’s not. This is real. Too real. It is. Right. Okay. Breathe. My name is Davis.
David? No, Davis. That’s who I am. But who I am isn’t just a name–it’s Fear. Bravery. Love. Hate. Annoying. Caring. Selfish. Selfless. Arrogant. Confident. Insecure. Happy. Sad. Deep. Shallow. Weird. Vanilla. CRAZY…fuck. Oh boy. Here we go again.
A fucking paradox.
Anyways. hey. Welcome to my blog. I’m naming this one “the black rose”. Why? Because it’s lame. It’s corny. It’s lame and corny. The worst kind. BUT, they’re still flowers. They’re roses, okay? Undeniably beautiful, even with thorns. They’re living proof you can love and protect yourself while still remaining soft. However, there’s not always sunshine in the day. I guess not everything is as pretty as you expect it to be. Now here I am with The Black Rose. Ugh. Whatever. Isn’t this exciting? I guess this is where my word vomit (and some of my actual vomit) goes on a rainy day.
it’s my fault for sleeping
now i’m lost in snow
i can feel december from here
happy new year anyways
here comes january screams
freezing thoughts in winter dreams
yet my heart feels december
it still hurts
–d.nguyen (January 2018)
Or my trash spoken word-poetry-hybrid-sandwich-pancake-banana-mashups whatever. Whatever you wanna call it. It’ll be here.
♥ cya later nerds ♥